We have all been wronged and will continue to face conflict in our lives simply due to the fact that we are on this Earth. We can choose to forgive ourselves and others and let go of things we are holding onto that don’t serve any purpose. Forgiveness is not forgiving and forgetting or excusing bad behavior or condoning wrongs and harms, it’s about letting go of the burden you carry when you refuse to move on or release yourself from and heal the emotional pain that resulted from harms done. Whether the harms were inflicted by you or someone else towards yourself or someone else, applying forgiveness and letting go is a key part of the healing process and for that of our individual and collective emotional and spiritual development.
Forgiveness and forgiving does not need to take place as a grandiose gesture or face to face with a person or group verbally. Forgiveness never needs to be demanded. Forgiveness is not something that is forced, it comes naturally from the heart. Forgiving yourself and others is personal. If you find yourself unable to forgive, this indicates an area that you need to place your loving attention to in order to heal. You may not ever be able to forgive a person or a group for the suffering they caused you, but you can always forgive yourself, the event, situation, or circumstances. When we hold on to anger, resentment, blame, guilt, and shame and refuse to live in the now moment and let go of the harms done to us, or harms we have done, we are perpetuating more of this suffering. Although the past events or circumstances are no longer occurring, we are replaying these emotional wounds and preventing ourselves from healing and moving forward when we refuse to accept where we are right now in life.
“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
Surrender, along with acceptance is the ultimate act of letting go. Surrender is not resignation in the sense of submission or quitting, but understanding that in order to heal you need to release yourself from your self imposed mental imprisonment. By surrendering, you are simply saying that you no longer need to or choose to hold on to this burden any longer. Surrender is relinquishing your ego control that keeps you stubbornly refusing to change and allowing yourself to accept things for what they are. You can’t go back in time and say or do something different to fix things, but you can now.
“Some things can’t be explained. They just are.”
~ Richard Ford
There are many methods and practices that can help you let go, forgive and release harmful and non-beneficial emotions, attitudes, and energies you are holding onto. Writing a letter is a great way to put into words what you need to forgive. The letter is not necessarily meant to be given to another person or group. It can be open letter to whom it may concern, to a specific person or group, or to yourself as a way to address the transgression or perceived wrongdoing. The letter can then be disposed of in a symbolic gesture or kept to be reread until harmful feelings subside and the words are no longer filled with emotional charge. Rewrite the letter as many times as needed until the feelings regarding the memory of the events and circumstances are neutralized and you truly feel at peace with the situation.
There is a Hawaiian word and practice that assists in placing forgiveness and letting go. It’s called ho’oponopono, and in English the word translates to the meaning, ‘to make right’. Ho’oponopono is done verbally in four steps- forgiving, asking forgiveness, and applying gratitude and love. With the emotional feelings, persons, situations, or events in mind, you compassionately state the following: I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you. It doesn’t matter what order it’s said, but it’s the genuine intention that matters. It is a very simple yet powerful technique to use anytime you are feeling less than and need to find relief.
Tapping is a practice that branched off from Emotional Freedom Technique, which is a trademarked term and method founded by Dr. Gary Craig. It involves tapping specific meridian points located on the body along with affirming dialogue that energetically assists in clearing out any stagnant and blocked energy from the body. Tapping helps to clear out limiting beliefs, looping mental patterns, and emotions that need releasing, correcting, and healing. It is extremely effective in identifying and releasing just about every emotional issue needing to be addressed. The beauty of this technique is that it does not require a professional to administer it. Once you learn the tapping points and are ready to clear out the emotional issue, that is all that is required. Simply telling a story or recounting the memories of an event while tapping can reap powerful benefits, if you aren’t able to create a dialogue to tap to.
The Sedona Method is the act of letting go of any unwanted emotion by first choosing to do so. You then accept, honor, and welcome the feeling without judgement or labeling of right or wrong and acknowledge what this feeling’s purpose or lesson is. With the Sedona Method , rather than shooing away or dismissing the negative thought or feeling, you wholeheartedly accept it as part of being human and what this emotional experience needs to tell you and teach you. Explore the real reasons that you are clinging to this emotional state and move through it with honesty and integrity. Know that you are not that emotion or event that happened to you. You are not your past and you can simply choose to let it go.
Through self awareness and observation we are able to recognize our personal issues that need healing and clearing that are keeping us stuck in these emotional patterns that prevent us from seeing ourselves and others through the eyes of oneness. Ego clearing and emotional mastery are ways to keep us from this self sabotage and bring us to a place of peace within, enabling us to release these judgements towards ourselves and others. Forgiveness is liberating, in that it frees us from these self imposed bindings and expectations that hold us hostage. What are you needing to forgive yourself for? What persons or past events can you forgive or release yourself from today? The only thing standing the way of that peace, reconciliation, and closure you are seeking is you.
Keep on being the best you that you can possibly be,
Please see my RESOURCES page and click on Brad Yates YouTube page so you can learn how to tap yourself to freedom, healing, and wholeness!